Women, The Chador, Politics, Education,…

Segregation between Men and Women:
In Iran, the segregation between men and women is almost complete – from the buses, the metro, schools and school buses, airport entrances and metal detectors, wedding reception halls and park entrances to bread lines! But there are some peculiarities to the system: for example, you must enter the park or airport through separate entrances, but once inside, you may walk or sit together. And then, strangely enough, the train couchettes, where people sleep, are mixed! So you can’t sit down next to a man on a bus, but you may sleep 3 ft. above, below, or across from him in a train! The veil remains on, of course. And then, the authorities at some of the universities are trying to implement a system whereby men and women will have separate classes. Since this requires hiring twice as many professors, it is impractical and looks as if it will not succeed. They are trying anyway. Most of the students, of course, are against it.

It is impossible, of course, to have friends of the opposite sex. And forget about having a girl or a boyfriend. If the police see young people together in public, they have the right to stop them and ask for their marriage or engagement license. If the couple does not have the papers, they will be carted off to jail. If the couple just forgot their papers at home, their families will be called and asked to bring them to the police station. If the couple is not married, they will be forced to marry in jail. As the husband has to pay a lot of money to his wife in case of divorce, it would be very difficult for a young couple to afterwards get divorced. To get around this, some young couples either get engaged (which they can later break off) or practice temporary marriages (legal, but less popular).

We met one University student who has had a “girlfriend” for two years. It is a girl that he knows from class, but they never once saw each other outside of class, not even at the University, because it was too “risky.” He says that many of his friends have such “girlfriends.”

More women work outside the home in Iran than in either Syria or Turkey. These are generally in mixed workplaces. However, certain sports are off-limits to them, like biking, for example.

Dress Code:
Though a few women wear colorful headscarves, about 95% of the women dress all in black. Between 90-95% of the women wear the chador, the all-black robe that they hold closed with their hands or their teeth. The others wear long coats over their pants; most coats go below the knees, some – especially in Teheran – wear coats just above the knee. It is acceptable to show a fringe of hair, and most women do – even those wearing the chador. Reza said he would like to see women wear different colors – he’s “tired of black!” There are others that feel the same way.

Girls start to wear hejab (scarves) at age 9 – white for very young girls, blue for high school students, and a special veil for University students that completely hides every hair that might have a mind to escape from a regular headscarf.

Several girls approached me on the street to ask me what I thought of the hejab. I told them that I thought it was hot and uncomfortable, and when I questioned them in return, they seemed lukewarm about it, if not downright against it. It was hot in October. I can’t imagine what it must be like in the summer months.

Some women are more progressive than others. For example, on our first night in Iran, we dined with a woman doctor who actually pushed my headscarf back off my forehead, telling me that I wasn’t showing enough hair! On the other hand, there are always those women who are extremely conservative. One female tourist who spoke Farsi recounted how, though she was dressed all in black, an old women had venomously told her that she “looked naked without a chador!”

Marriage and Children:
Iranians marry late compared to Turkish or Syrian citizens. The main difference is education. Men and women tend to get married after they finish their studies at University. An average for women is 25 yrs. old; their husbands tend to be about 5 yrs. older. It is difficult to get married young because the man must have a lot of money for his wife. He pays for the ceremony and offers her a lot of gold jewellery. In her turn, the woman must bring the furniture and carpets to their new home.

If they don’t meet at University, they often meet through their families, as in Syria. The man goes to the woman’s house to meet the family and then may talk alone to the woman for a short time. The marriages have separate reception halls for men and women. The woman must wear a wedding ring; it is optional for the man. It is difficult for the man to get divorced because he must pay his wife; it is hard for the woman to get divorced because afterwards it is extremely difficult to get re-married, since a bride is always supposed to be a virgin.

Since the Revolution, it has become legally possible for girls to be married at the age of 9. Mohammed himself married one of his wives when she was 6 yrs. old and consummated the union at age 9. The religion allows men to take up to 4 wives, though few do.

To get around the prohibition on dating, some couples get engaged legally before a court justice. If it doesn’t work out after several months, they get “divorced” and the contract is disregarded. The man must pay, however. To get around this, some couples opt for a temporary marriage, a contract which may last anywhere from one hour to several months – or even years. This practice is tolerated only in the Shiite strain of Islam, and is disapproved of by many Iranians, who regard it as a legalized form of prostitution. It had been argued that it allowed widows from the Iran-Iraq War to continue to have a sex life. Between 1999-2000, temporary marriages increased, while normal marriages went down by 3%.

We heard that the average number of children in the city is about 3; it is more in the country. About five or six years ago, the government started an ad campaign: “2 is Enough.” People are paying attention because they don’t have enough money for more children. Mothers are given 4 months of paid vacation for the first two or maybe three children. After that, maternity leave is not given. The government distributes free vaccines and birth control. Children seem to be more educated and “raised” by their parents than in either Syria or eastern Turkey.

Politics:
Certain freedoms are limited, like freedom of the press (all media is owned by the government). We met several journalists who came to visit tourists at the hotels, asking their views about Iran and just generally keeping an eye on them. It is forbidden for Iranians to talk to tourists of the opposite sex, as one of our fellow travelers found out when her new friend had a disagreeable run-in with the police. People talk very openly about their dislike of the government and of their limited freedoms even on the street, where we had many such conversations initiated by the Iranians themselves. Most people we met, in fact, expressed some kind of dislike of the current government, and many admitted openly to being depressed about the prospect of their future in the country.

The government has a strong anti-American and anti-Israel rhetoric, but the majority of Iranians seem to distinguish between a country’s government and its people. We met many people who wanted to immigrate to the United States or who already had sons or daughters there. Many people we met said I was very lucky to be American because I had freedom, and a couple even expressed the hope that Bush would attack Iran in order to free them from their own oppressive government!

Education:
The Iranians are well educated on the whole, and take higher education very seriously. More women than men attend University, and in fact, it was often the young women on the streets who came to speak to us in very good English, often translating for their boyfriends or husbands. The women weren’t at all shy about approaching tourists to speak to them.

Perhaps because of their education, the women seem somehow more free in Iran than in Syria and even in parts of eastern Turkey, where it was always the men who took the initiative in any interaction or conversation and the men who received an education, if any was to be received. For example, after only one week in Iran, we had already met many more women than we had during our 4-month stay in Syria and Turkey. I was very happy – after 4 months in a man’s world, I was able to talk to women again – and in English, to boot.

Economy:
As for the economy, it is in ruins because despite the great wealth generated by oil in Iran, the large majority of it goes into the pockets of a few powerful mullahs. Unemployment is high, around 18% nationally. Although it is down to 11.5% this year, the unemployment was at an incredible 46% in the North last year (the highest in the country). Because of this, people are depressed, stressed and tense, crime has gone up, and it has led to bad relationships between men and women. Although the young people are well educated, they can’t find work in their field of study, and often end up as secretaries or grocery store clerks, if they can find work at all. The knowledge of students and their potential is therefore being underutilized and largely wasted.