Thailand’s Ladyboys

Unbeknownst to me until we arrived in Thailand, there is what is currently called “a third sex” in Thailand. The Thai word for this type of person is “kathoey” and the anglicized version of this word that is commonly in use is “ladyboy.”

We had actually been in Thailand for several weeks before I remarked the existence of the ladyboy. Briefly, a ladyboy is a boy or a man that dresses as a woman and acts like a woman. She often wears make-up, jewellery, long hair, high heels, and has feminine features and sometimes breasts. However, she starts life as a boy and later on makes the transformation to ladyboy. Stephane sometimes remarked to me that he thought our waitress or the girl serving us at a local shop was really a boy or a man, but I initially thought he was crazy. “No, it can’t be. She looks like a woman, she dresses like a woman…she must be a woman!” Then, as we learned a bit more of the Thai language and started to talk to the people, these “girls” often answered us with deep, masculine voices!

As the months passed and we encountered more foreign tourists, we heard them talking about it, too. Apparently many foreign men had made the mistake of thinking that they were wooing (or “buying”, as the case may be) young Thai girls and only discovered when it came down to facts, that their “conquest” for the night had both male and female genitalia (Thailand’s largest industry is arguably prostitution, and many foreign men come to the country to engage in sex tourism). We heard this story over and over again.

I could hardly blame the men for making the mistake. I could hardly tell the difference myself, even when actively trying to distinguish. It must be said that both Thai men and women are petite. The women have small breasts and often look more like girls than women. As for the men, they are also very thin – and not very tall – and are extremely attractive, but with delicate features instead of a rugged, overly masculine face and body. Their features and petite frame make the transformation easier and means that the Thai boy who wishes to pass for a young girl or a woman may more easily do so. In addition, ladyboys almost always take female hormones from the beginning of puberty (or even have breast implants), so that it makes it extremely difficult to tell if you are looking at a ladyboy or a woman born as a female. Almost always, for me, it was the voice that gave it away.

I was confused. Very confused. Why did the phenomenon of the ladyboy seem to be so prevalent in Thailand as opposed to elsewhere? Why did we not encounter the phenomenon of the ladyboy in our society? As the months passed and we had more and more encounters with ladyboys, I became increasingly curious. It was something that I had never heard of before and it was something that I didn’t understand.

So I read a book recently published on the subject by a British author who spent several years researching the phenomenon and actually living with a ladyboy and her family in northern Thailand. The book, called “The Third Sex: Kathoey – Thailand’s Ladyboys” by Richard Totman was informative and an interesting read. In his book, he explains the likely biological origins of the ladyboy, how a boy is transformed into a ladyboy, her characteristics and traditional role in society, how the phenomenon is viewed by other Thais and by the monk hood, how the Buddhist scriptures explain the existence of ladyboys, and changing attitudes in Thailand and in the West towards the ladyboys.

Classification of the Ladyboys:

Ladyboys are not to be confused with gay men. Gay men show an interest in sexual relationships with members of the same sex, while ladyboys show a marked interest in work activities normally reserved for the opposite sex. Gay men wear men’s clothing, while ladyboys usually wear women’s clothing and make-up. They are seen as a distinct third gender. In fact, the communities of gay men and ladyboys of Thailand do not easily mix and the ladyboys have a general disdain for gay bars and nightclubs. Western tourists only introduced the term “gay” to Thailand in the 1970s; before that, the Thais had no word to describe it. Ladyboys wish to be referred to as women and seen as women. They think like women and will be insulted if they are referred to as gay. Often, they express the desire to give birth to children.

Biological or Societal Origins?

Although scientific research on the physiological make-up and possible biological causes of persons expressing transgender desires is in the beginning stages and is not yet conclusive, the opinion of medical practitioners working in the field is that a person is born a ladyboy and that this is in most cases determined by events that occur when the foetus is still in the womb.

The biological sex of most babies is obvious at birth, but it is not invariably the case. Some babies are born with ambiguous sex organs. In the West, these babies are assigned a male or female gender at birth. In other countries, this is not necessarily so. Some societies have traditionally killed these babies, while others have let them live as they were born. These “mistakes” occur in a much higher proportion in male embryos than in female embryos, and although a female may become a transgendered individual, it happens much more often with males.

Although the external genitalia of babies is the most obvious sign of whether they will be male or female, it does not give an indication as to their hormonal make-up. This is not to say that most ladyboys are determined biologically (because there has not been sufficient research on the subject), but many of them lament that they feel like women trapped in men’s bodies.

In terms of upbringing and society, it is unlikely that boys decide to become ladyboys because they are pushed to do so by society. In fact, Thailand is a patriarchal society that believes that men are superior to women – both socially and spiritually. Given this fact, along with the fact that men have more opportunities than women, families certainly do not encourage their boys to act and dress like girls.

Underground?

Thailand’s ladyboys are by no means underground. They are ubiquitous, very much a part of the fabric of society. Older boys give lessons and advice to their younger “sisters,” who admire and emulate them. They are found in the countryside as well as the cities. There is a mixture of respect and disdain for them. Women, especially of the lower classes, will often tell them how beautiful they are and ask them about their hair and make-up. The disdain comes more from middle-class professionals. Although not everyone approves of them, they are generally accepted.

Characteristics of Ladyboys:

Some ladyboys claim that they have known that they wanted to become transgendered “ever since they can remember.” Over half claim that they knew by the age of 7, and almost all of them by the age of 10. This often starts with a dislike of their maleness and of their desire to wear girl’s clothing and their sisters’ or mother’s make-up. This can pose a problem when they wish to wear the school uniform for girls instead of the uniform for boys.

Almost all ladyboys take oral hormones, which can be bought over-the-counter without prescription, even by young children. Most start taking hormones at the onset of puberty. About half have breast implants, and a few have sex reassignment surgery (SRS). Over half of the families are accepting of a boy’s decision to become a ladyboy, about one-quarter is indifferent, and about 10% are hostile. For the families that are hostile, the father can sometimes become very brutal and violent.

There are some physical differences between ladyboys and the average man: 65% of them are taller and have longer legs than the average male, they are mostly left-handed, and their fingerprints tend to be strongly rigid. They are also widely regarded as being more beautiful than most women. Some doctors claim that there are physical differences at birth, such as the shape of the Adam’s apple, the characteristics of the hair, and the contour of the buttocks.

Most ladyboys have boyfriends at some point in their lives; these are predominately men who identify as heterosexual. Ladyboys are known to be very vain and spend an inordinate amount of time making themselves up. They often have an exaggerated or aggressive femininity.

Ladyboys are often described as being religious. They make regular visits to temples and are received with warmth by the monks. Groups of them often live near temples and they are a traditional part of the entertainment at temple fairs. They mix Animist spirit worship with Buddhist beliefs and often have self-made shrines in their rooms.

They are regarded in the community at large as low-status individuals, though they are admired for their beauty and their grace as performers. They are largely uneducated and often have a character of indulgence, flamboyance, and glamour. Most are dramatic, emotionally volatile, and sometimes drunk or suicidal. They are generally promiscuous and, often, prostitutes.

The Buddhist Account of how Ladyboys are Born:

Their acceptance in society can be explained when one looks at the Buddhist explanation of how ladyboys are born. The ancient oral tradition that tells of the creation of the world says that a woman was born from the element earth and that a man was born from the element fire. They married and shaped the first three human beings: a man, a woman, and a hermaphrodite.

Even in the Vinaya, the section of the Buddhist scriptures that deals specifically with rules relating to the monk hood, cases are described of ordained monks changing gender and taking on the physical attributes of women. The Buddha was reported to have been tolerant, and as long at they had shown themselves worthy of the monastic order, they were allowed to go to live with the nuns and follow the nuns’ code of conduct.

The Buddhists believe that a person’s becoming a ladyboy is predetermined from birth. It is written that changing one’s sex is not sinful, and thus cannot have any bad karmic consequences (consequences for the next life). Sexual misconduct is sinful, however, and can lead to consequences in a subsequent birth. This does not refer to homosexuality, which is not sinful, but to heterosexual acts that break cultural norms. Thus, it is believed that a ladyboy is someone that is being punished for misdeeds in a prior life. There is no escaping the consequences of your misdeeds, and thus, being born a ladyboy is inevitable and is not the fault of that person (in their present life). Also, it is believed that a lot of the karmic debt of ladyboys has already been paid off in a previous life when they were “reborn into hell and forced to endure the torment of being chased by wild beasts.” Thus, it is thought that ladyboys should be treated with compassion because of the suffering that they have to endure. In addition, some people believe that everyone has committed some type of heterosexual misdeed during some previous life, so that everyone has at some point been a ladyboy.

Although a third-sex gender appears in the Buddhist scriptures, it appears as if the concept of ladyboys did not originate in either the Buddhist or Hindu religions, but have their origins in Animist societies that worship spirits. It is believed that Buddhism, which came later, incorporated these beliefs into the new religion and its scriptures instead of rejecting and criticizing it.

Thailand’s ladyboys have never been censored or persecuted by the monks. Although seemingly at polar opposites in what they represent and how they live their lives, the ladyboys and monks enjoy a mutual respect and cooperation. Ladyboys are often described as being religious, mixing Animist spirit worship with Buddhist beliefs. Monks do not regard ladyboys as sinners because they are destined to be ladyboys became of misdeeds they have committed in a previous life. Because this is their destiny, they are not open to criticism or moral censorship in this lifetime. Therefore, certain excesses, such as sexual promiscuity, are tolerated in this group because they cannot help being what they are.

Across the world, in fact, it is those cultures rooted in Animist beliefs that have traditionally accepted the group of ladyboys and recognized them as a gender in their own right. The Judeo-Christian belief system does not recognize this, nor does it prepare its members of society to understand it. In the Judeo-Christian world, man and woman were born for procreation, and nowhere does it leave room for the existence of a third gender. The first Europeans who encountered communities across the world who had third-gender members reacted with horror, believing they were abominable freaks and proof of the devil’s work. They actively worked to undermine and deny the existence of a third-gender, which was so radically at odds with their own system of beliefs. When Animist practices have been forced to emerge or adapt to more legislative ideologies, the ladyboys have also had to adapt or go underground.

Traditional Roles in Society…

Ladyboys have always enjoyed traditional roles in society, but today are seen by foreigners primarily as dancers in the cabaret shows. They are indeed very popular with the tourists, with the natives, and also with Thai children in the smaller venues. We saw a sort of cabaret performance in a temple fair in the countryside, and I thought that all of the dancers were women, until our Thai friend informed us that they were ladyboys. They were hugely popular with the crowd, and when they would put on a crude comedy routine, the adults and the children would go wild with laughter. Although the cabaret shows in some tourist towns have grown exponentially since the 1960’s with the influx of Westerners with money to spend, evidence shows that many ladyboys have always been dancers and performers, often in the rural communities.

In addition, ladyboys often participate in public beauty competitions, which are organized by committees of monks for local villages. They are hugely popular with the locals.

Ladyboys often perform as the sexual outlet of young men until they marry. Although premarital sex is disapproved of in Thai society, it is considered legitimate – and is a common practice – for men to visit prostitutes. This very often includes ladyboys, who are considered “a second type of woman.” It is also considered a safer option than having a relationship with a young woman, who might get pregnant or whose reputation might be on the line. Most ladyboys have worked as prostitutes at some point in their lives, and are notorious for their general availability.

They are often seen portrayed as having a broken heart, having short-lived relationships and unable to find lasting true love. Hysterical reactions are much more common among ladyboys than in the larger population. Emotions run high and they often explode in temper – said to be the result of two people ill at ease within one body. The rate of suicide and suicide attempts among ladyboys is also much higher than in the wider population.

Although they often take the role of dancer, performer, or sex-worker, ladyboys can also be seen working in shops, markets, restaurants, hotels, or in clerical positions. There is some discrimination, however, so it is harder for them to find stable jobs.

When ladyboys become older, they often lapse into a state of passivity. Like females, the careers of prostitutes or cabaret performers is pretty much over by the age of 30, and then if they have no families to return to, or if their families will not accept them back, they often live a passive life – watching TV, gossiping, and lounging around. Contrary to ideas in the West, prolonged inactivity and drifting are not necessarily considered abnormal or dishonorable in Southeast Asia. They often live a frugal, communal life in support groups.

Changing Attitudes in the East and West:

Just as transgender groups emerged in the United States and Europe in the 1980s and Westerners have started to become more tolerant, attitudes in Thailand have started to move in the opposite direction. As global business has become more entrenched in Thailand and tourists have become vital to the Thai industry, officials have started to crack down on the ladyboys, persecuting them, in an effort to promote an image of the country that is wholesome, contemporary, and sterile. Many officials wish to remove all “undesirables” – which now includes the ladyboys – from the public eye, trying to pretend that they don’t exist.

But the ladyboy remains an integral part of the Thai community, with its roots in spirit worship and an overall tolerance of the general population. They will certainly remain a part of the cultural landscape for some time to come.